OCTOBER NO WAY R.A.

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                           October Feature:

What’s Your Cyberbully IQ?

1. How many students have admitted they had experienced some sort of cyberbullying?

            a. One in three

            b. One in five

            c. One in ten

            d. One in fifteen

2. True of False: Text bullying is the most common form of cyberbullying.

3. Which of these is a way girls engage in cyberbullying?

            a. Harassment

            b. Impersonation

            c. Exclusion

            d. All of the above

4. True or Fales: Although it is common for both, boys will be cyberbullies more than girls will.

5. When polled online how many teachers feel that it is common for children to receive bullying or threatening messages through their cell phones picture messaging?

            a. 25%

            b. 33%

            c. 50%

            d. 75%

Answers: 1) b  2) True  3)d  4) False 5) c

 The Truth About Cyber Bullying

 With the advancements in technology and the increase in the amount of teenage and tween-age girls with access to cell phones and computers, cyber bullying has become more and more of a problem. Because cell phones now allow you to check e-mail, send pictures, and send text messages, girls are now using their mobile phones to bully and threaten each other.

Cyber bullying is sending or posting harmful or cruel text or images using the internet or mobile phones. Cyber bullying is the newest type of relational aggression. Girls may cyber bully by:

• Sending cruel, hurtful, or sometimes threatening messages via instant messenger or text message

• Creating websites that have pictures, jokes, gossip, or rumors that ridicule others

•  Creating online polls in which classmates will vote on who is the most “uncool” in their class

•  Breaking into someone’s e-mail account and sending vicious or embarrassing material to others

Cyber bullying has become one of the more challenging issues facing teachers and parents because computers and cell phones are such a common and important part of young girls lives.

The best defense against cyber bullying is to be an involved and informed parent. Learn how to use the computer so you can monitor what goes on in cyberspace.  Be watchful of websites that your child frequents. Talk to them, and ask them who they are talking to. Some signs that your child might be involved in cyber bullying are:

•  Spending long hours on the computer

• Closing down the screen when you enter the room

• Being secretive about their activities online

• Change in behavior. They might seem depressed, have a lowered self-esteem, have trouble sleeping, have stomach or head aches. She might show a lack of interest at social events that include and her attitude, dress or habits may change. School grades may decline.

If you notice these kinds of behaviors, express your concerns, and encourage your child to talk to you. Let them know that children who are part of cyberbullying often feel ashamed and want to keep it a secret, but it’s better to discuss what’s going on with someone who can help.  

Facts About Cyber Bullying 

• 99 percent of students have used the internet.

• 48 percent of students use the internet for at least one hour a day.

• One in four youth, aged 11 to 19 has been threatened via their computers or cell phones, including death threats.

• Parents think mobile phone bullying is more common than e-mail and internet bullying, but still one in five thought it was not very common or never happened.

• About 37 percent of parents are not worried their child could be bullied or threatened by mobile phone.

• 20 percent of parents are not sure if cyber bullying via cell phone merits worry.

• However, nearly 75 percent of parents whose children had a mobile phone received it between the ages of 8 and 13; the prime age for cyber bullying.

Cyberbullying Prevention

Knowledge and awareness are the key elements in preventing cyberbullying. There are many forms of Cyberbullying. It can be mean messages sent by cell phone, instant message or e-mail. It can be creating websites or online polls that are made for the purpose of putting a peer down. Or it can be posting embarrassing pictures, rumors or gossip on the internet. Cyberbullying is a challenging issue facing parents and teachers alike, but with a little knowledge and awareness you can prevent this type of relational aggression.

One of the easiest things you can do is educate yourself on cyberbullying. There are several website dedicated to informing teachers and parents on the dangerous and hurtful nature of cyberbullying. Spend a few minutes learning about all the forms of cyberbullying and prevention.

Some excellent resources include:

• http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/ (has age appropriate suggestions)

• http://www.wiredsafety.org/ (the world’s largest online safety and help group)

• http://www.netbullies.com/pages/1/index.htm (a cyberlawyer helps protect kids online)

Once you know about cyberbullying you can talk to your child about it. Express your concerns whether they might be the victim, the bully, or even the bystander. Remind them to use netiquette, to be polite to others online just as you would if you were not online. If they are a victim of cyberbullying let them know the best thing they can do is not respond. Just like bullies who bully in person, they want you to answer to know they are upsetting you. Let them know that cyberbullying is hurtful and see if there is anything you can do to resolve the situation.

Remind you child not to send messages to someone when they are angry. It is best to wait until they have cooled down and had some time to think things through. Remember angry messages, known as “flames” can’t be unsent, so take some time and think. After they have cooled down then they can resolve the issue much better with a calm message. Girls usually regret sending flames, and once you have sent the message it is very hard to undo the damage. They create more problems than they solve.

Cyberbullying can become very serious. Sometimes it isn’t just bullying but girls may send cyberthreats. In either event, let your child know she should never erase or delete messages from cyberbullies. She doesn’t have to read the message, but it is important to have as evidence. You may need to contact the police if the bullying gets out of hand. 

These are just some things you as a parent can do to prevent cyberbullying. It might also help to contact your child’s teacher to inform her of the issue. If your child is being bullied online there might also be problems at school, and letting the teachers be aware of the problems might help. You can also print some literature to give to the teacher so they are as knowledgeable as you are about this form of relational aggression.

             Ten Tips for Girls to Stop Cyberbullying

1. Always tell someone you trust what is happening. This could be your parents, teacher, friend, or a responsible adult. This might help you feel better and the person may also be able to help you to find a way to stop it altogether.

2. You may need to tell the local police. It is against the law to make a call or send a text or email that is really abusive or harassing, or to keep sending messages that will annoy someone or make them anxious.

3. Never reply to the bully or send an even nastier message back. Often bullies will send a message to get a reaction, so don’t respond to it. Bullies who don’t get a reaction often get bored and stop.

4. Keep and save messages. If there is a website, online voting site, weblog or message board that says bad things about you, save a copy or print it off.

5. Take a break from your phone or computer.  Let your phone take messages and don’t chat or check text messages or e-mails. If you really need to make calls find out if your phone can turn off incoming texts for a while.

6. Make sure only good friends and family are in your phone or email address book. If you don’t recognize a number, caller Id or email leave it and get a trusted adult to check it later.

7. If you really like using a chatroom, you can sign up again with a different chat ID.

8. Always be careful who you lend your mobile to and always be careful about giving out your mobile phone number.

9. Your cell phone provider can help you by changing your number if you start getting bullied through your phone.

10. Keep telling yourself: ‘This bullying is wrong. It is not my fault and I’m not putting up with it!’ You are not alone.

Visit www.stoptextbullying.com for more tips and information on cyberbullying.

This Issue's Free Printable

Cyber Bullying Quiz

Take this quiz with your daughter or a child whom you are concern about to test your knowledge of cyberbullying. Click here to print this quiz.

(c) 2006 Cheryl Dellasega and Club/Camp Ophelia. All rights reserved.

To learn more visit http://www.clubophelia.com