created by Dr. Cheryl Dellasega

MAY ... NO WAY R.A.

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Summertime and Self-Esteem

As the last weeks of school approach, most girls are eagerly anticipating a vacation from school.  Who wouldn’t be excited by the prospect of the pool, warm days, and sunshine? As great as it might seem while sitting in a classroom, summertime can be hard for young women who have low self-esteem and body issues.  Skimpy shirts, shorter than ever shorts, and bathing suits that reveal all can hammer away at a girl’s confidence, especially if she is less developed than her friends.    

For unknown reasons, the age of puberty continues to drop.  Insecticides and obesity have been suggested as the cause for this alarming trend, but no one knows for sure.  (Read more at “CNN.com’s “More Girls Experience Early Puberty by clicking here.)  Consequently, one fifth grade girl may fit into a B cup bikini top while another is barely in need of a bra.  Figures and curves become one more area where girls compete and even aggress against each other.  I’ll always remember a young woman who told me her blossoming chest made her such a target of jealousy from girls and teasing from boys she deliberately became aggressive.  “It was my way of defending myself,” she told me. “If I could say something smart to them before they started commenting on my body, I felt I had ‘won.’” 

How sad that our bodies should be such a source of discomfort and shame.  Hang out by the dressing rooms when girls are trying on bathing suits and see what they have to say.  You’ll hear very similar conversations when adult women are the customers.  “I’m so fat!” and “I need to go on a diet!” are not uncommon.  All of us must ask ourselves what kind of body role model we are for younger women. 

How many of these are true for you in the last week?

1.  I have made a negative comment about my appearance to a younger woman.

2.  I have said something envious about another woman who was thinner than me.

3.  The things I talk about most are my looks.

4.  I spend more time developing my body than my mind.

5.  At mealtimes, I comment on my need to restrict my intake so I can lose weight.

How Do You Grow?

To give a girl insight on how much a woman’s body can change over time and help her develop healthy self esteem, take out some pictures of her at different stages of life.  Discuss the ways her body has changed already—but explore what inside that endures: for example, a sense of humor, ability to do math, love of reading, and so on.   This activity can be more powerful if an adult woman can participate, sharing pictures of herself going through pregnancy and mothering stages of life.

Relationship Downtime

Summer time can stress relationships in other ways. It may be harder to stay in touch with friends when school is out. Some friends go away on family vacations while others have sport practice and camps. Older girls might have summer jobs. Losing contact with friends over the summer can cause rocky friendships to dissolve completely, or girls might be hurt if they are “replaced” when one of their best friends becomes friends with someone else. 

On the other hand, summer can offer a welcome hiatus from relationships that were difficult during the school year.  A sense of perspective can develop when girls aren’t forced into contact every day, and much can change in the short months apart.  Girls who have the opportunity to master new skills, try new experiences, and make new friends can blossom during the summer months, and return to school a new person!

Fun Summer Activities

Read A Book

Pick a shady spot under a tree, in the park, on a bench and read!  Encourage girls to try all sorts of new books. They should go to the local library and pick a book that they usually wouldn’t read, or they could read an old favorite. Forming her own book club or writing book reviews for the local library or newspaper can further expand literary skills.  If you like to buy books, maybe organize a swap session to share your favorites with others.

Join A Summer Sport 

Summer can be a great time to try a new sport and make friends while getting physical activity.  Summer sports are great because they are not as competitive as school sports, and they generally don’t require you to be experienced or super competitive.  Starting your own sport can also be great fun: team Frisbee, croquet, badminton, or beach volleyball (import some sand) can all be different ways to connect with new people.

Gardening

Gardening is a great summer activity. You don’t need a lot of space or even a yard--you can always plant a potted garden or find some herbs that grow on a window box.  Selecting, planting, and growing flowers or vegetables can give a girl a sense of pride.  There are stepping stone kits at craft stores that can be used to further embellish a garden, or colorful tiles.

Planting a Tree

Planting a tree is good for the soul and good for the environment. You can buy a tree at nursery (which can be pricey) or contact The Arbor Day Foundation. For a $10 membership you get 10 trees, or you can purchase trees at a discounted price without a membership.  Finding a place to plant the trees and enlisting the help of others can turn this activity into a group get-together.

Going Hiking or Biking

Physical activity is crucial for all children, teens and adults. Planning to explore new territory by going on a hike or bike ride is a good way to get daily exercise. Girls can even pack a lunch and have a picnic in a local park or nature trail, but safety rules apply.   

Photography

Girls interested in photography should definitely take advantage of the great summer weather to learn the art of taking pictures. They can photograph things in nature, a vacation, friends, or whatever they want, and use the finished product to make a collage of their summer vacation!

Have an Outdoor Slumber Party

If someone has camping gear she can invite her friends over for a backyard slumber party. Pick a night that is clear and warm and have fun.  With adult supervision, they can even use a portable grill to make smores and hot dogs. 

Volunteer

If you’re not old enough to work and make money, you can gain valuable    experience through volunteer work.  Try as many different opportunities as you      can to get an idea of possible careers or future summer jobs.  While some     organizations have restrictions on what girls can and can’t do, be creative in          searching out new experiences.  Who says girls can’t mow lawns for their        neighbors or help clean up garages?

Featured Website

Check out an awesome new website designed especially for girls by the GSUSA and the Dove Self Esteem program.  There are lots of fun activities and information located-- click here.

 Here’s an example of the great ideas they offer for girls:

UNIQUELY ME! TIPS FOR BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM

Celebrate you!
Reward yourself when you have accomplished something! You don't need to wait for others to recognize what you've done.

Surround yourself with positive people.
Spend time with people who are upbeat and feel good about themselves. They, in turn, will put a smile on your face and help you feel good about yourself.

Challenge yourself to try new things.
Try a ropes course, learn some new dance steps, speak in front of a large group. Stepping outside of your comfort zone to try new things is a great way to grow.

Be good to your body.
Exercising, eating well, and getting plenty of sleep will help you move toward a healthier you—inside and out!

Find and express the real you.
No other person has the unique combination of qualities that you have! Be proud of yourself and be courageous enough to express your true feelings.

Have a positive mental attitude.
A positive attitude is contagious! You'll feel good and people will want to hang out with you.

Learn from your experiences.
Learn from your actions—both good and bad, and use the knowledge you gain to make positive decisions in the future.

Find the humor in everyday life.
When you can see the funny side of things, you'll be less stressed and more likely to handle tough situations better.

(c) 2007, Girl Scouts of the United States of America

How to Make a Fun Sun Catcher

Supplies:

60 or 70 cm wire

Wire Cutting Pliers

Glass Beads

Charms

Your Imagination

Directions:                 

(These are for a dragonfly sun catcher; however, you can make your sun catcher into a sun, dragonfly, butterfly, flower or any other shape you want! You can use these basic directions to get started.)

First decide on what shape you want your sun catcher to be.

To make a dragonfly sun catcher cut a long piece of wire and secure an “anchor” bead or charm to the bottom by bending the wire around it. (You will use one piece for the head and body; for shapes like flowers and a sun use one wire for the center circle and then repeat this step for each petal or ray coming off of the center.)

Slide the beads onto the wire for the length of the body. Then using the pliers, bend the rest of the wire into a circle to make the head. Slide beads onto the rest of the wire to form the head.

To make the wings, cut the wire and secure one end to the dragonfly body. Make sure the wings are not too large as there are four of them.  Use a different bead color or pattern on the wings. Once you have put all the beads on bend the wing in and secure it by twisting it around the body. Repeat for the three remaining wings.  

You can use extra wires and beads to add patterns in the wings. You can put on charms or other ornaments on your sun catcher to make it uniquely you.  When you are done cut off the excess wire so you can hang it on a window.  Use a bit of fishing line and a tack to pin it up to the window.   Now repeat the process and make an awesome gift for one of your friends—just to let her know she’s special to you.

(c) 2007, Cheryl Dellasega and Champion Press, Ltd. 

You may reprint this page in its entirety as long as all credits remain intact

and if for electronic use, all links remain in tact. For other questions or inquiries email sara@championpress.com

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