No Way RA Monthly Newsletter March 2006

Factoids About

Tweens and Teens

TV habits tend to change with age: 80% of 8- to 14-year-olds (tweens), "love" television, but 60% of 12- to 14-year-olds do. Tweens and young teens combined have purchasing power of $40 billion—which has driven many marketers to try wooing them on the Internet. (Media Post Publications, 2006)

The tween years are a time of dramatic physical change, beginning for girls around age 10 with a sudden growth spurt and continuing until age 17 or 18. During this time, the ability for abstract thought and problem solving begins, and an interest in "heroes," who are often entertainers or sports figures. They want to understand "why" things happen, but may have a hard time separating right and wrong. They aren’t used to making difficult choices, so "yes" or "no" is often a better response than "maybe."

To learn more click here

Your Stories Are Wanted:

Do you have a story on RA within your immediate or extended family to share? My next book, Forced to be Family, will focus on the kinds of behaviors that get used by women who are born or sworn into relationships. Contact opheliasmother@aol.com for guidelines.

Club Ophelia News:

Check out our new website pictures!

Click here

More Camps and Training:

Three other camps were held around Pennsylvania and many clubs are ready to go this fall, in addition to the three launched in the Harrisburg area. There will be another training in October, so e-mail opheliasmother@aol.com now if you’re interested– the spots are filling rapidly.

Club Ophelia in the News

2005 Marie Claire

The Good News About Being Fat

2005 Cosmo

How to Deal with a Bitch,

Anytime, Anywhere

2005 The Boston Herald

Yesterday’s Mean Girls, Today’s

Drama Queen Keep Their Sting

2005 The Chicago Tribune

Queen Bees Can be Defused

2005 The New York Times

How to Shush the Office Magpie

2006 The Cult of the Mean Girl,

Toronto Star

2006 The Philadelphia Inquirer

School Programs Gang Up on

Bullying

2006 The Philadelphia Inquirer,

Communication Gap: Children

Talk

Parents Can’t Talk.

2006 TIME MAGAZINE: Taming

Wild Girls

2006 CNN: Cheryl discussed

physical violence and girls

Cheryl has been commissioned to create a patch program on relational aggression for the GSUSA

Product Updates

Club Ophelia products are now available from Champion Press, Ltd. To visit the shop, please click here




NO WAY R.A. www.clubopehlia.com Product website: http://www.championpress.com/ophelia.htm To subscribe to this free e-zine, please click here and complete the subscription box
NO WAY R.A. created by Cheryl Dellasega edited by Brook Noel New and Noteworthy: "Flip the Script and Stop the Drama" is a video created by girls who attended Camp Ophelia in 2005. It tells the story of a group of girls whose friendship ends due to relational aggression. If you're interested in learning more about the video, which was funded by Penn State's Children's Miracle Network contact Cheryl at cdellasega@psu.edu Product Updates Club Ophelia products are now available from Champion Press, Ltd. To visit the shop, please click here Our new mentor and director programs offer a way to take Cheryl's training without the need for travel. As part of the training you receive a full 3-DVD series featuring the same material from an actual training. This program is essential for those looking to build a successful anti-bullying program. To learn about these new comprehensive training programs, please click here Brochure You can now download a product brochure by clicking here From Cheryl... This month I received a letter from a reader that I wanted to share in slightly edited form. Hi! My name is Nicolette. . Unfortunately you might have another problem to solve.. or have an idea for me what to do. I go to an all girls school. Anyway, I have these two friends: one of them I knew like my whole life and the other one just came into the school. The girls names are Jen and Ann. In the beginning of the year Jen would let me have friends but my friends would have to be theirs, too. So, I got upset so I went to my school guidance counselor and at the end of the period I told them I wanted to be their friend but I needed more friends. Everything was ok until last week. Whenever I tried to talk to Jen or Ann they wouldn’t really be listening and would just be like "O that’s really nice......ANYWAY, so Jen, remember what Sam did over the weekend?" I felt like they didn’t want me there, so I started to hang out with other people who actually are my really good friends now but a couple of days later I got an email from Jen which got me upset and I cried over it. The same day I got an email from Ann saying that I’m not one of their people so don’t act like it. So I wote back saying so that when I hang out with other people don’t get mad or feel left out (because the last time they did.) So this week Jen’s grandpa died and she was with her friends and I was with mine. But then in computer class yesterday she said to me "Did I say something wrong or did I do something wrong?" And I said "No." But the problem is that I don’t want to be their friend anymore. Ill be friendly with them but not BEST FRIENDS!! How do I be nice and at the same time kind of be mean?! P.S. Please help if you can!! Love, Nicolette Nicolette: Girls can sometimes consider friendship as yes or no: either a girl is your very good friend or she's an enemy. This is unfortunate, because throughout life we meet a variety of people--big, small, funny, serious, smart, pretty, etc.--each unique in their own way. Some we want to spend time with and be friendly towards, while others we're less sure about. Regardless of whether you want to be friends with someone, giving them respect and courtesy is an important life skill. When you get a job, you'll discover the ability to get along with others and cooperate, even if you're not best friends, is one marker of success. The good news for you is that you don't have to put pressure on yourself to be in a yes-no category, or to make choices to befriend some girls and not others. You can have many gal pals, some closer than others. However, meanness is not the best way to let a girl know that for the time being you want to do things with someone else--a simple explanation will do. (For example: "I just discovered Alex likes anime, and so do I, so we're going to be working on a project together for the next few weeks.") A final thought: even if you and Jen aren't friends right now, you were at one time, which means she'll appreciate your support and caring during a sad time in her life. Cheryl Picture of the Month: Girls from our Junior Club Ophelia Graduate How to Start an Anti-Bully Group for Girls Educate yourself and others about relational aggression and how it impacts on girls Create a curriculum with learning objectives that detail activities to be used in the group Identify and recruit girl group members and mentors Train mentors and get the group started Evaluate how the program affects participants Sound overwhelming? Now, thanks to the new Club/Camp Director Training Kit you can purchase a ready-made program that has successfully helped hundreds of girls cope with RA. The kit includes the training and educational materials you will need to run your own Club or Camp Ophelia: a taped “live” training session, Director’s manual, the 2006 Club/Camp curriculum, Mentor training materials, and much more. To purchase, go to http://www.championpress.com/ophelia/kits.htm This Issue's Free Printable In this issue we feature the Mandala exercise. Mandalas are a wonderful way to encourage creativity and expression. Check out this comprehensive exercise Cheryl created for girls to perform on their own or within a group. This exercise is excerpted from The Girl's Friendship Journal, click here to learn more about that book. Click here to download the printable. (c) 2006 Cheryl Dellasega and Club/Camp Ophelia. All rights reserved.	Factoids About Tweens and Teens * TV habits tend to change with age: 80% of 8- to 14-year-olds (tweens), "love" television, but 60% of 12- to 14-year-olds do. Tweens and young teens combined have purchasing power of $40 billion—which has driven many marketers to try wooing them on the Internet. (Media Post Publications, 2006) The tween years are a time of dramatic physical change, beginning for girls around age 10 with a sudden growth spurt and continuing until age 17 or 18. During this time, the ability for abstract thought and problem solving begins, and an interest in "heroes," who are often entertainers or sports figures. They want to understand "why" things happen, but may have a hard time separating right and wrong. They aren’t used to making difficult choices, so "yes" or "no" is often a better response than "maybe." To learn more click here Your Stories Are Wanted: Do you have a story on RA within your immediate or extended family to share? My next book, Forced to be Family, will focus on the kinds of behaviors that get used by women who are born or sworn into relationships. Contact opheliasmother@aol.com for guidelines. Club Ophelia News: Check out our new website pictures! Click here More Camps and Training: Three other camps were held around Pennsylvania and many clubs are ready to go this fall, in addition to the three launched in the Harrisburg area. There will be another training in October, so e-mail opheliasmother@aol.com now if you’re interested– the spots are filling rapidly. Club Ophelia in the News 2005 Marie Claire The Good News About Being Fat 2005 Cosmo How to Deal with a Bitch, Anytime, Anywhere 2005 The Boston Herald Yesterday’s Mean Girls, Today’s Drama Queen Keep Their Sting 2005 The Chicago Tribune Queen Bees Can be Defused 2005 The New York Times How to Shush the Office Magpie 2006 The Cult of the Mean Girl, Toronto Star 2006 The Philadelphia Inquirer School Programs Gang Up on Bullying 2006 The Philadelphia Inquirer, Communication Gap: Children Talk Parents Can’t Talk. 2006 TIME MAGAZINE: Taming Wild Girls 2006 CNN: Cheryl discussed physical violence and girls Cheryl has been commissioned to create a patch program on relational aggression for the GSUSA Product Updates Club Ophelia products are now available from Champion Press, Ltd. To visit the shop, please click here